So you’ve been wearing a bit of a sourpuss ever since you realized that you missed out on the opportunity to have a really cool avatar thanks to the Portland Timbers crowdsourced photo campaign. I get it. It hurts. You’re all Rose City ’til you die and stuff.
Well, turn that frown upside down, my little Timbers Army faithful. Because you now have a chance to wield an axe in a Portland Timbers game.
Whoa whoa whoa. What are you strapping those boots on for? This isn’t on the pitch. iPhone, baby. iPhone! Well, and I guess iPad too.
That’s right. The Portland Timbers have released an iPhone game. It’s called Timbers Axe. And as someone with a less than healthy addiction to Angry Birds and Plants vs Zombies, I’ve got to say… it has potential.
Help Timber Joey save his beloved roses from the advancing flounders. All by flinging your axe and lopping off fish heads. Fish heads. Roll-y poly fish heads.
Timber Joey, the big, burly log-slicing mascot of the Portland Timbers, loves nothing more than laying down his axe and tending to his perfectly-manicured rose garden. But when blue-and-green-scarf-wearing intruders approach his roses, the gardening gloves come off and the axe is soon flying toward their faces.
And I’m sure that the fact that “flounders” rhymes with a team from the north is pure coincidental. As are the flounders’ colors.
Timbers Axe is free to download. But you better be near a wifi spot, because it’s a bit hefty. Must be the axe. Or that beard on Timber Joey.
For more information or to suit up and take your spot in the Timbers game, visit Timbers Axe.